Well, this is my second attempt at this post.  I somehow hit a link and couldn't stop Internet Explorer in time and I was almost done with this post and. . .  wait!  Must. drink. wine.  Ahhhh, that is way better.
Anywho, let's start with the random funny shit from my week:
Last Tuesday I was walking into work.  Now, for those of you that don't know, I work for the areas largest hospital system.  I really do love my job.  So, because I am one of the lucky ones with a 9am start time most employee parking spots are taken by the time I arrive.  Security is very strict about employees parking in designated areas.  If you park in a patient area during your shift the ground will open up and swallow your car whole.  Shhh, don't tell, but I plan on parking in patient spots when I want a new car.  "Dear officer, I swear I parked here this morning.  I just don't know what could possibly have happened to my car. Snicker
snicker. "
Speaking of my car, it has helped confirm that I have recently lost my mind.  Either that or the employee lot is very bad luck.  Three weeks ago, I got out of my car during a monsoon and ran to the shuttle. Even with my umbrella and the running sprint, I still managed to get soaking wet.  Water even ran into my shoes.  As the shuttle was pulling away I noticed my lights were on.  I grabbed for my keys and figured I would just beep the lock and then make sure they shut off, as they do automatically.  Well, imagine that.  No keys.  Not only were they locked in my car, but my car was running.  Sombitch.  God bless my m-i-l who brought me my spare keys and drove me back to my running, yet locked car and saved the day. 
Back on track now.  Sorry, this happens a lot.
This past Tuesday, I, again, parked across the street in the giant lot and lucky me got the last row.  The weather was beautiful that day and I decided not to wait for the shuttle and walk into work.  After all, exercise is good for you, right?  This time I remembered to shut my car off and wait until I exited to lock it. About two rows away from where I parked, my shoe caught in a crack in the pavement and twisted my ankle.  Damn, it really hurt.  We are talking instant tears in my eyes, biting my tongue hurt.  Miraculously, I managed to not fall completely to the ground and dragged my leg to the bumper of a nearby car.  Oh look, another hospital employee is driving up to me.  Here to save the day!  Or not, they literally drove around my sorry ass and just left me there.  At this point I decide I am going to have to put my big girl panties on and hobble to work.  At this time, I also hope that I can just "walk it off."  Not so much.
I limp, and I do mean limp, all the way through the lot, across the street (which is like a game of
Frogger, but I will stay focused and not go off on that tangent right now)* and up to the second floor and to a time clock and then to my desk.  During my journey of limpdom, nurses and other various life-saving hospital staff go around me and pass me.  Not a single soul asked if I needed help or offered a hand or for that matter even offered a Gd hello.  Not even when I had my shoe in my hand and tears running down my face. 
I ask you, what is the world coming to?!  Really, no one noticed that someone was injured and needed help?!  I was so pissed off that by the time I got to the ER or ED* or whatever that place is called now, my bp was so high, they were more concerned about that then my swollen ankle.  Even though I ended up in room 13* (aren't you glad that there are all these *s around?  They are my little version of footnotes to help me stay on track and increase your reading pleasure later.) I didn't break anything and got an aircast and went back to work. 
After all this had happened and I had some good laughs with the ER staff, I sat back and thought what would I do if I saw someone limping like I had been.  I would absolutely ask if they were OK and if they needed anything.  Are people in such a hurry and so consumed with their crazy lives that they can't help another?  Sad, sad I say. 
At this point, you probably wonder how this falls under random funny shit.  Well, you heard about the whole locking my keys in a running car in a monsoon story and that was totally funny.  And, even though my ankle still hurts and is a pretty purple, I have to laugh at myself.  These are the kind of things that happen to me.  Life is really boring and quite unnerving if you can't at least laugh at yourself.
On Thursday, I was getting ready for work and decided that my pretty uniform needed a good de-linting.  I was happily rolling up and down my pants when the lint roller flies out of my hand and lands directly in the toilet.  Sadly, for a moment I contemplated keeping the roller and how I could disinfect it. Within a few minutes my common sense got ahold of me and I fished the roller out and put it directly in the trash.  I think my judgement was flawed by the fact that it was a brand new lint roller!  You know, so sticky you can't peel the pieces off in one piece?!
Do you think this is a sign (one of several) that I should not go to work anymore?
OK, footnotes:
*The road that the employees have to cross to get to work is five lanes of fast-paced traffic.  The people that program the cross-walk signs (I'm not sure who these people really are.  Are there maybe little elves living in the box that just change the signal?) have clearly never actually crossed said street during rush hour.  Walking at about 3.5 mph will only get you across 2.5 lanes of traffic and then the cars begin revving and at times, horns ahonking.  Kills me.  I'm moving as fast as I "safely" can here, people!
*ER or Emergency Room is no longer accurate as it is not just a room, but a department.  Thus the change to ED or Emergency Department.  Here is my thoughts on it: Who flippin' cares?!  Does the TV show need to go back and change, too?
* And Room 13!!!  Really???  Hotels often don't even have 13th floors.  I would think way more bad things have the potential of happening in ED (see? I really am trying) room 13!  Just sayin'

Thanks for reading, my friends.  Send anyone who would enjoy laughing at me!  The more the merrier!
Until the next item of Random Funny Shit happens . . .

Oh and I just realized that my previous attempt at this post was autosaved to my draft folder.  Jeez.