What is this?!

As a little girl I fondly* remember my mother plucking her chin hairs.  She had a rather elaborate set up!  I think it involved NASA aligning satellites and sunbeams for the best environment.  I am surprised she didn't don a lab coat and ID badge when she was plucking.  She had special mirrors and favorite tweezers.  Oh, and heaven help any soul that moved, touched, or just breathed on said set up!  She knew when the sun was in the exact spot to provide the most beneficial lighting.  I would find her contorting her face in all these weird expressions and going to town with the tweezers. I always wondered just what in the hell she was doing.  I really didn't noticed any hairs and still don't.  She was and still is a diligent plucker, I say!  When my grandmother was terminally ill at 87 and couldn't even talk or swallow, my mom was doing her caregiver/daughterly duties and plucking chin hairs.  I remember her saying: "If Mom could see these and knew that I let them stay here, she would be so angry.  She would never want anyone looking in the casket and seeing these chin hairs."
Well, I didn't truly understand until I hit my 30's . . . the chin hair Armageddon is upon us my friends.  These little bastards are everywhere.  On me, others and possibly even you.*  Be afraid, be very afraid.  Once you find them they multiple quickly.  I think they are part gremlin species.  You know, they get wet and then the evil babies show up.
I find that I am obsessed with these chin hairs.  I stop at a red light and my hand unconsciously migrates up to my chin and begins searching for the prickly stubble.  I even have tweezers in my purse and have been known to pull into a nearby gas station to free my chin of this weight. 
I have also begun checking out other chins.  I see some hairs and I immediately think* "Oh that poor soul.  She doesn't even know they are there.  I think someone should do an intervention."
What is going on here?  In all the plucking days of my mother's life she never sat me down and said that this would happen to me!  Isn't this part of "the talk?"  You know that one that goes something like: "Boys suck, people are mean, life is hard, you will get cellulite, and yes, sweetie . . . chin hair is normal."
I have asked my PCP, my ob/gyn and my dermatologist.  They insist that it isn't extreme*,  my hormones are normal*, and not to worry. 
Worry?!  Worry?!  I am far beyond worried, my friends.  Last night Rob interrupted me while I was drooling over a late night infomercial about laser hair removal.  I began screaming: "But they offer reasonable payment plans.  I don't have to live this way any longer!"  I am not worried.  I am a woman on a mission.*  I will be chin hair free!  Just you watch and see!

*I use this term rather loosely.  I am not sure this is a moment that qualifies for "fond memory status!"
*Feel free to pause here and go check.  Actually, I insist that you do.
*I know this is shocking, but I think this to myself and do not speak the word's aloud.  Amazing, I know.  I am so proud of myself.  Baby steps, people, baby steps.
*They didn't ask my definition of extreme.  And, all three of these doctors are men who shave their faces daily.  A few** chin hairs is apparently nothing to them.
*My husband doesn't think so.
* Enough. Said.

**few, hundreds.  Its hard to tell.*
*OMG I am ** and *** footnoting!